Take a Step Forward, Not Backwards
by superluvoreos
Summary: AU female!Jason Todd- Jane Todd aka Red Hood is back in Gotham with vengeance on her mind, but what if someone else has plans for her that take her down a different path? Jay/Dick- no stupid stuff with Nightwing's secret identity being found out but MOSTLY (not all) New 52 (It's my AU, deal with it) - I do not own DC (unfortunately)
1. Chapter 1

I never really though that after everything that I've gone through, that I'd be sitting on top of Wayne Enterprises. Okay, maybe it's more like swinging my legs back and forth from sixty stories up, but it's still strange that I'm here of all places.

It's actually kind of fun, so I guess I can see why Goldie and Bats like staking out up here. It's a nice view of Gotham City, which is kind of hard to see some days. But, it's New Years Eve, and the light show from the fireworks is pretty nice to watch.

A cool breeze flows by, and my black curls annoyingly brush my face. I push them behind my ears, but they only come flying back out. Sometimes I have to wonder why I don't just cut all of my hair off, but then I remember that it's the only thing that distinguishes myself as a girl in my uniform. I quickly pull out my hair band, and wrap it around my neck to tug it around the top of my head.

I've always been rather proud of my suit. That's random but I mean I look sexy as hell in it. It shocks a lot of people when they actually see that I'm not some girl that is doing this for kicks. Okay, I do have some fun with this, but that's not the point. The point is, is that I feel confident in what I'm wearing. It's any girl's favorite part of fashion. Even I can say that's right.

My black knee-high boots are over a gray pair of combat pants along with black Kevlar long sleeve under a leather motorcycle jacket. I can move freely, and it's comfortable.

Though, I should probably also note the red helmet that I also wear over my mask. It's the symbol of my name, Red Hood, for obvious reasons. I pat the helmet sitting next to me, and grin. It's gotten me through some tight spots because of the high tech computer inside of it along with a gas mask built into it.

My eye catches sight of a young girl being pushed into an alleyway, and I put on my helmet. I pull out my grappling hook from my utility belt to launch myself to the closest building. I run across the roof, and watch the group that had shoved her into the wall. One of them has a knife in their hands, and another has a crow bar.

I grit my teeth, but leap off of the roof, and land right on top of the criminal. He falls down to the ground, and I kick the weapon away from his reach.

"Eh?" The other two look over at their unconscious friend a bit too late, and I kick the closest one off balance. All right! One left.

This guy decides to pull out a gun, and I can't help but snort. "Are you kidding me?" I easily dodge his shots as I remember having to avoid worse than a measly pistol. I grab the gun out of his hand, and hit him in the chin with the butt of it before ramming my shoulder into his abdomen. "That was pathetic."

I look towards the young girl that was staring up at me with wide eyes. I'm not a Martian, but even I could tell that she was conflicted between her admiration and fear of me. I can't blame her. Watching someone knock three guys out can be pretty intimidating to someone as young as she is. She must be no older than thirteen.

Of course, I was out fighting criminals even before I was that age. Ha! Maybe that's why I turned out the way that I am.

I bend down a little bit as I take off my helmet, and I smile at her. "Hi. I'm not here to hurt you." These are the moments when a mask is better than the helmet. It doesn't scare off the young kids when they see that I'm actually a normal human being. They don't need to be even more terrified after witnessing this. "What's your name?"

"C-Clara." The girl tells me obediently.

"Do you have a cell phone?" I ask, and she pulls one out from her pocket. "Good. You should call 911 so the police can make sure that these guys never hurt anyone else again. Okay?" She nods her head, and I chuckle as I ruffle the top of her brunette hair. "You're a tough one, and don't hide that part of you. That'll save you some day if I'm not around to kick some butt for you."

She blushes a little bit from the compliment, and I put on my helmet. "Stay safe, Clara." I shoot the grappling gun at the roof before shooting through the air.

I watch the police pick up her and the criminals from the top of Wayne Industries. Well, at least I can say that I saved someone in Gotham City on New Year's Eve.

The Bat would probably be happy to not have to add three names to my list of kills. I doubt that he cares anymore though; since I'm just that one kid in the family that everyone avoids talking about.

Someone suddenly straps something on top of my head, and I react immediately, by hitting them hard in their _sensitive _area. Aka, their balls. "Yow! Jay!"

I purse my lips together when I realize that it's Goldie. I should probably say Nightwing, but Golden Boy deserves a better nickname. Besides, everyone understands whom I'm talking about when I call him that. He's like the Golden Boy of Golden Boys. "Oops, did I hit you there? I'm sorry. I thought you were a girl, Dickie bird."

That's another one of my nicknames. You see, he's got a secret identity like me. He's not always Nightwing. If he were, people would think Dick Grayson was suicidal because of how many times he was jumping off buildings. And yes, that's his name: Dick Grayson. I'm not the one who gave it to him, but whoever took Dick from Richard must have been seriously high.

The acrobat limps to the side of the building next to me while holding his 'man' area. "I wanted to say happy New Years." He grumbles, and a feeling of pity and regret suddenly appear in my gut.

I pull off the party hat that he had put on me, and I snap it onto his head. "Happy New Years!"

"I forgot about your sensational way of sharing compassion." Goldie smiles at me with a wink, and I roll my eyes. Compassion? Oh please. He's kidding right? "You haven't been in Gotham for quite awhile."

"I've been busy." I turn my attention away from the hero, and watch the cars driving on the road below us. "I'm a bit surprised that you're not out with the other Batboys."

"Batman and Robin are taking care of everything along with the Batgirls, Red Robin and the Titans." Ah, yes, that's the beauty of having a whole family of superheroes in one city. It's easier to slack off on some nights. But, it's also difficult because this is Gotham. 'Crime never sleeps' here is a literal meaning in this waste of a city. I can't believe anyone even wants to live here still.

Even with the help, that still doesn't explain the other reason why Dick is here. I twirl my helmet on my finger while I ask him that.

"I told you, I wanted to say happy new years!" He exclaims, sounding like he got hit in the balls again. "What else would-"

"Please shut up." I stop the helmet, and put it on my head. "I've got business here that I need to take care of, and you're wasting my time."

I get up, but Dick grabs my hand. I glance back at him, slightly surprised by this. His shaggy but handsome dark ebony black hair is hiding his facial features as he looks down. His gloved hand is strong and large compared to my smaller hand. I should kill him for touching me like this, but that would make me a target to every hero in the city. And, I've already got enough problems already.

"Don't go after the Joker, please." Dick says, his voice taking on that renowned worried and serious tone of his. "I know that you know about his recent break out of Arkham, and the fact that he always has a special crime planned for New Years. We've got it covered, just like we always do."

I snort, and shove his hand off of mine before pulling out one of my guns from the holster on my hip. I point it towards his head, threatening him, without telling him that the safety is on. "Oh yeah, just like always. I do remember a certain Bat family about to get boiled in a pot of acid with an unconscious Batman, until _I _came along, and saved all your asses." I should have, could have I mean, left them to die that night but I guess the festivity of the new year had gotten to me.

"And we thank you for that, but Bruce has intel that this Joker's preparing for you, specifically, this year."

"Oh boy! I'm so scared!" The sarcasm is practically bleeding out of my voice, yet it felt like the truth.

Why would a psycho clown scare the bajeezus out of me, the Red Hood? Okay, I'm not telling Goldie or the other Bats that, since that would ruin my bad reputation with them.

You see, I've been avoiding thinking about this one part of me that I honestly can't deny that is a part of myself. I know, this sounds so cliche, it's making me cringe too, but that statement is true.

I was once Robin, or the second one after Goldie. Yeah, I was the Boy Wonder, or maybe I should say Girl Wonder. No one saw me as a girl because of my short hair then and lack of a chest. I never tried to correct them, and Batman, yes _the _Batman, would lead them to thinking that I'm the same Boy Wonder that he's always had to protect my identity.

How did I get stuck as being the Robin to the Batman? It's not a happy story, I can tell you that. But it's New Years, and isn't that a time for reflection? My entire existence is based on the past, just like anyone else's, but mine's better. I promise that I'm not a confident naive ass like Goldie can be, but I've got one hell of a unique back story.

My real name is Jane Todd, the daughter of Catherine and Willis Todd. We lived in the slums of Gotham City, so it's not much of a surprise that they met Death when I was just a little kid. I lived on the streets, and fended for myself by stealing and fighting to live. I've heard a few people say that I grew up too early, but in Gotham, early is never early enough.

I'm not exactly sure what drove me to steal the tires on the Batmobile, but it was definitely a stupid move, anyone could see that. And, somehow, that led to me being the adopted son of the rich player, Bruce Wayne, otherwise known as the Batman. After being Robin, I can say that he stalked me for a while before that. I should have run away before I made the connection, and he showed me the Bat Cave under Wayne Manor.

Bruce and Dick had given me their blessing to wear that famous, overly bright leotard that the last Robin (ahem, Goldie) wore. I was in my preteens, and I was out dodging bullets and taking out the bad guys almost every night.

And then the Joker had to get smart. Or, smarter I guess. Batman and I were taking him down during one of his many crimes, but this one turned out a bit different from how we usually defeat that blasted clown.

Dick suddenly taps the face of my helmet. "Hey, Jay? Are you in there?" I blink a few times as I remember that I'm not alone up here. Okay, maybe reflections aren't a good thing for me.

I put the gun that was still pointed at him back into the holster, and take a few steps back from him. "Whatever you do, Goldie, don't get in my way tonight."


	2. Chapter 2

I pull out my grappling gun, and shoot it at the next building before leaping off and swing towards it.

I land on the roof easily, and I run off it to another and another for a while. I stop when I get to a building that was across the street from a bar. I pull out my AK-47 from it's hiding spot, and load in a magazine. I turn off the safety as I steady it towards the front door. A couple of Joker's men are supposed to be here, and they've been working for him for quite awhile longer than most usually do.

I'd like to end that streak.

These two are the last of the other men that have worked with Joker in the past. I've killed the rest of them already.

"Come on, old men!" I whisper as I impatiently watch for them. "Stop drinking bad beer, and get your asses out here!" Huh, that rhymes.

I can hear footsteps behind me. I grin as I pull out my other gun, and point it at them without turning my head. "You sound a little out of breathe, Batgirl."

"Oh, please." She huffs as she stands over me, and with perfect timing, the two thugs walk out.

"You have got to be kidding me." I mutter as I put away my pistol, and aim at them both. I quickly shoot them in the chest a couple of times, and I duck out of Batgirl's kick. Her heel almost hits the chin of my helmet, and I smirk as I purposely fall off of the building. I salute her as I do so, mocking her enough that she actually growls. We've never had a really great relationship, not even before I died, but I don't really care anymore.

One of my flying toys comes out of nowhere, and I land in the driver's seat perfectly. I fly off, grinning in victory at one part of my plan going right.

"Thank you, stolen alien tech." I chuckle as I fly near the harbor, and hide the stolen alien technology under a bush. I love alien stuff.

What am I doing over here? Well, this is where the clown has been hanging out. This specific small cruise boat called 'Jokes on You'. Typical.

I hang the AK-47 on my back, and pull out my two pistols as I watch the boat for a little while. I can't hear anything or anyone from the boat, or see any heat signatures of people either from the computer in my helmet. Humph, that's not a first. I should just blow it up.

Someone suddenly grabs the bottom of my helmet, and pulls back on it. My head snaps back hard as the helmet comes off. I catch myself with my hand, and I flip around to shoot directly at my attacker.

I immediately start shooting when that familiar cackle echoes in my brain. "Oh what a catch! A little red bird popped into my nest!" The green haired, ashen face with that crooked red smile of the clown appears when he walks from the cover of the trees nearby. Joker is twirling my helmet on his finger like a basketball, and I grit my teeth.

Memories of the Joker kidnapping me as Robin suddenly flip through my mind, and soon turn to the massive beating he had given me with a crow bar. I remember the pain and the fear that I had experienced, and the defeat that I felt when I saw the timer of that dynamite that was sitting next to me in that abandoned warehouse.

Three…Two…One…Gone.

"Someone's a little out of it tonight, aren't they?"

I blink a couple of times as I realize that I've been pulling the triggers on my guns when my magazines were empty. What? Why am I…?

Something sharp pierces my legs, and a green smoke bursts in a deep cloud around me. I immediately begin coughing as I fall to my knees on the ground. My vision was being invaded by darkness, and my body started to feel numb. I'm fighting as hard as I can to stay conscious. But, I collapse onto the ground, and as my eye lids close, I can hear that nightmare cackling.

Three…Two…One…Gone.


	3. Chapter 3

I groan as I begin to gain feeling in my body again. I roll over to sit forward on my knees again like I'm praying to that one motherfucker.

"She's waking up."

"Finally!"

I lift my head to see the Bat family sitting in front of me. Specifically, Batman, Robin, Nightwing and Red Robin. We all have our masks still on. Why is it always the five of us?

I glare at Bats, demon child, Goldie, and the replacement. They returned the gesture just as nicely aside from Goldie, of course. "Are you feeling okay, Hood?"

"Definitely fantastic." I rearrange my sitting position to be cross-legged since my hands are restrained behind my back. "How long-?"

"Long enough for me to get a headache." The demon child grumbles, and I huff.

"It wasn't too long, was it? I don't want you to get hurt." I sneer at him, and I ignore the other Batboys confused faces.

I turn my gaze to the floor, and let my hair hang in front of my face. The explosion of the warehouse that I had died in suddenly echoes in my mind. No! Stop thinking about that! Stop reflecting on the past! I thought we already went over this.

I busy myself with figuring a way to get out, since the others obviously hadn't thought of anything yet. We're all sitting in the same position, with our arms behind our backs, but that isn't the problem. We're obviously in the basement, but it seems like the entire place was rocking. Like, on a boat. I wonder how far out from shore we are.

It's unusual for the Joker to leave Gotham with us, let alone leave. Why? What's his plan? Why tonight on New Years Eve? I hate this guy more than anyone gives me credit for, and I'm excited for the day that I finally kill the son of a bitch.

"So, do any of you know what's going on?" I ask, grudgingly. I don't want to ask them something like this, but I did. I don't feel like myself right now. I don't tell people my weaknesses, especially to the Bats. That could ruin my reputation as the _bad guy_. I may be an adult, but being a girl who's gone to hell and back, kind of makes me an unpredictable case of emotional trauma. That's my weakness. Wait, how did I get to this? Joker must have slipped something to me. It wouldn't be the first time.

"No. We're only running on guesses at the moment." Tim tells me. "No one's come down here at all, so we have no idea who's –"

"The Joker." I interrupt, and I catch a glimpse of Bruce. He was deep in thought, and brooding as always. The bottom of the cape on his cowl has been ripped off, and it looks like that pathetic cape that I used to wear as Robin. I almost wanted to laugh at it, but our current predicament had decimated any idea of that. "Can't believe you didn't figure it out."

"We thought of him as a part of this, since it's a holiday that he usually takes part in. But this isn't like his regular gig against us." Tim pulls his arm out that he had gotten free, and he scratches the top of his head as he looks around. I bet all four of them have their restraints off, they're just sitting here like lazy ass holes.

Stupid self righteous dumb asses. I quickly twist my arms out of it's hold, and the ropes come off a few moments later. I stand up, and brush myself off. "Well, I'm not going to just sit around waiting for someone to shoot me in the head."

I trudge past them, ignoring their quiet pleas to be "smart for once in my short life". It only prompts me to quicken my pace, and I'm at the door to the top part of the ship. I've got a back up plan for something to happen like this, especially with the Joker. This isn't the first time that I've gotten kidnapped before, and it isn't going to be my last either. It sometimes sucks to be a human, since that's a weakness in itself.

I slowly creak the door open, and I dodge a burly fist that almost hits my head. "Miss!" I land my knee into his groin before grabbing his wrist, and flipping him onto the ground with a loud thud. I need to get my helmet and utility belt along with the other's things.

I can hear the loud clapping of boots from Joker's men, and I step on the other man's throat as I pull a small knife from my own shoe. These guys suck at their jobs, or was that the point to leave me with hidden my weapons? Ugh, Joker. I hate that stupid clown, and I hate his poorly dressed henchmen.

I throw the weapon up, and dramatically catch it by the handle. The criminals stop when they see me, and I smirk as I motion for them to come at me. "Come on, boys. Don't you want to meet Lady Death? She's quite nice."

Twenty minutes later, I've got four utility belts hanging on my shoulder with my own on my waist. My red helmet is back on my head, and I feel like a million bucks. I had found everything in the pilothouse of the ship. There wasn't a captain driving because I had already killed him.

I haven't seen the damn clown yet, but I've already avoided every one of his 'classic' tricks that he always has like little party blowers aka bombs. He's got to be around here somewhere then.

I run down to the open area, and find Joker sitting in a chair in the middle. He's smiling, as always. He's in that purple, mother fucking suit that I absolutely hate, and I swear he wears it just to piss me off.

"Hey, Red! How are you? I see that the nice nap that you got really has freshened you up." Joker says, chuckling as he twirls a crow bar in his hand. "It's been a little while since we last saw each other, and you've…grown up a little bit." It hasn't been that long, a year, so he's being a dumb ass. I'm not a little girl, never was. I pull out my gun, and shoot at him.

I miss.

"Hmmm, seems like you've got a problem." What did he do? The clown seems like a ghost when he suddenly appears in front of me, and smacks down the crow bar onto my shoulder. I wince at the pain that runs through me, but with the helmet, he doesn't see any sort of a reaction.

"Red!"

Joker laughs when the rest of the family shows up behind me. "Oh, boy! Now the fun is just-" I grab his neck, and twist him onto the ground. I slam my knee into his gut, and put a gun to his temple.

"Shut. Up." I growl, and with my other hand I threaten the heroes with my other pistol. "I'm tired of playing your stupid little games, Joker." I stare into his cowardly eyes, and for once, I see something that I've never seen on him before.

Fear. This isn't Joker. This isn't the bastard that I swore that I was going to kill for killing me. He suddenly disappears to show that I'm standing on top of a young girl that I've never seen before with the Bats standing above me.

She was terrified, I could see that, and what terrified me was that she looked oddly like the girl that I had saved earlier tonight. Bruce's hand is suddenly on my shoulder, and he tightens his grip. "Red… That's not the Joker." I smack his hand away, and get off of the girl. I drop the utility belts, and put my guns into their holsters.

"I see that." I huff before turning around, and trudging away from them.

"Psychopath." The demon child mutters under his breathe, and I'm willing to bet money that even Superman heard that in Metropolis.

The boat was still tied to the harbor, and I slide down the slide to land on the hard wooden boards of the dock. I have to get out of here. I press a button and then another to trigger the bombs on the boat. My bike flies in front of me, and I jump onto it.

I wasn't worried that the Bats weren't going to make it since they had been in far worse than anything like that. They'll get that little girl out safely.

I'm in a bit of a daze when I enter my hotel room a few minutes later after the drive under the protection of the beneficial camouflage mode on the bike.

I do my usual check up of any bugs or anything at all in the hotel before I rip off my helmet and mask. I flop onto the bed, and scream into my pillow. What the hell happened tonight?

My mind unwillingly trails to waking up in the Lazarus pits, and the rigorous training that I willingly put myself through under the 'guidance' of Talia al Guhl. It was completely opposite to the training that I had received from Batman, which makes sense since my mentors were teaching me how to kill instead of how to avoid those lethal areas in a person's body.

I sit up, and hold my head with my hands with my elbows hitting the soft spot on the side of my knees. "Dammit all to hell!" If Joker saw me like this, he'd probably laugh. Okay, he always does, but I know that he'd _really_ enjoy this.

I get up, and go to the refrigerator where I've got a stolen six pack of beer. I use the butt of my gun to rip off the cap of one, before chugging it down.

"You're going to get yourself sick if you keep drinking like that, especially since you're still underage." Goldie is leaning against the window, looking both cross and worried with me at the same time. I snort as I grab another, and start drinking it just as quickly as before.

"Jane," He hisses, walking over to me, and he attempts to take the bottle from me. I try to point my gun at him, but he easily snatches it from my hands. I throw the now empty bottle at him before moving to get another one.

"Go away, Dickiebird." I grumble, not in the mood for a speech from him right now. I duck with the glass to my lips when he tries to take it from me again. I chuckle a little bit as we continue to do this for a few minutes around the hotel room.

Dick grabs me by the waist, and he plucks the alcohol out of my hands. He makes me sit on the bed, and he kneels down to look up at me. He has a tight grip on my hands like he's afraid that I'm going to fall or something.

"Jane," He starts, and I roll my eyes.

"Please spare me the speech." I try to pull my hands away, but he doesn't let go.

"Dammit, Jane. You make it so difficult for me to help you, you know that right? You need to tell me what's going on so I can keep Bruce off of your back for a little while." Dick was being so sentimental that it made me laugh.

"Bruce just wants to put me in Arkham. He's never been 'off my back'. And, I don't need any of your _help._" I shove him back with my feet, and I flip onto the other side of the bed.

"He has been off your back." The acrobat stands up, and puts his hands on his hips, imitating the whole Superman pose. "How else do you think you got into Gotham?" He sighs. "Jane, you attacked that little girl on that boat! You were going to kill her because you thought she was the Joker!"

"But I didn't." I correct him, and I pick up my mask and helmet from the floor. I stop moving when I see who's standing behind Dick. It's the same girl that he's talking about, but there's an obvious difference: The girl has a bullet hole in the center of her forehead, and it's slowly bleeding out. Her skin looks more pale than a ghost, and I would know. I've seen my fair share of weird stuff including ghosts, vampires, mermaids, I'm not even going to go down the whole list.

"You-you killed me," She points at me, and I take a step back in surprise. I thought I didn't. I swear that I didn't. The girl glides past Dick, and I'm backed up into the wall. She stops in front of me, and she starts crying. "Why did you kill me?"

"I didn't! I stopped myself!" I tell her, subconsciously putting my mask and helmet back on. I've never had this happen to me before. Everyone that I kill is dead and gone in my mind and life, yet this girl is alive and she's got some thing against me. Dick doesn't seem to be able to see her since he hasn't said anything about it.

I take a deep breathe, and kneel down in front of her like he had done before for me. "I'm sorry that you believe that-" The girl's sudden appearance suddenly takes on the Joker and he lunges at me. I jump to the side, and back into the sliding glass door to the balcony.

"Oh, come on, Red!" He exclaims, pulling a crow bar out of nowhere. Joker begins hitting it against his palm. I vividly remember the action when he was walking over to me in that warehouse just before he beat me with the weapon. "Let's have some fun! Just like old times!"

I pull out the gun that was still strapped into my hip holster, and I point it at him. "No." I shoot it right into the center of his forehead, and his eyes roll back before he suddenly changes to reveal the little girl again. Her mouth is quivering, and the tears are still running down her cheeks.

"You killed me!" She screams, and I don't know what possessed me to open the door, but I do. Almost immediately, she leaps towards me, and lifts me off of my feet. I grab the bar of the balcony, and I let out a loud grunt when I resist her pull.

"Jay!" Dick yells, running over to help me against my invisible attacker. "Stop playing around!"

I close my eyes, and the pressure suddenly disappears. I'm only hanging on over the thirty story floors on the hotel. I climb up, and he holds me in a tight hug. What just happened?

I feel something prick my arm, and I look down to see that Dick had stuck one of his knock out stingers into me. "Oh, you son of a bitch!" I push him away with all my strength, and back up from him. "You better not take me to Bruce! He'd just lock me up!"

"No, he wouldn't, but I'm not going to do that." The world's already spinning, and I already hate his guts. I stagger into the wall from the sudden loss of balance, and slide to the ground. Dick pulls off my helmet, and he holds up my head with his hand. My vision is getting cloudier by the second, but I'm fighting it the best I can.

"Damn, you gave me the hard stuff didn't you?" I smirk, but find myself leaning into his touch.

"Only for one of the best."

"Ha! You sure about that?" My eyelids begin closing on their own accord, and the last thing I remember is seeing Dick's masked face.

**AN: Okay, hi! This is basically my first published work so I'll take all the advice that I can take! Plus, what do you guys think? Just going to point this out, but Jane isn't exactly a reliable narrator so don't believe everything you read, okay? ;) just keep reading! Thanks for dealing with my newness! -superluvoreos**


	4. Chapter 4

When I'm awake enough to be able to open my eyes, I see blue curtains. I know exactly who's blue curtains they are, and who's bed I'm lying on at the moment. It's not the first time that I've woken up here, in Dick's apartment. There have been missions that have ended badly, or when I was younger, I would come over here if I was in disagreement with Bruce on something. Without Dick there, that happened more often than we'll ever admit.

I push myself into a sitting position, which is slightly difficult considering the IV stuck in my arm that's pumping fluids into me. Ugh, why is he even doing this?

I jump when someone puts their hand on my shoulder. I look up at Alfred, Bruce's old butler, and I understand then why I've got the IV. The butler is pretty experienced in the medical field, especially since Bruce started his late night trips around Gotham. I'd say that he's an old friend, since it's been so long since we've talked but I can't even remember when we last did.

"Madam Jane."

"Alfred." I lift my arm up, looking at him quizzically. "You going to explain this?"

"I did hope that you hadn't lost your manners, but it's evident that you have, Madam Jane." The old man tells me, sitting next to me on the bed while he looks at the IV bag contents. I huff, and look at the rest of the bedroom. It seems that Dick's not here, and he must have left me with Alfred. His clothes are lazily shoved into their designated drawers in the dresser, and the wall has a big "Flying Grayson's" poster. There wasn't much else to see, since he only spent a few hours a day in here.

"It seems that when Master Richard found you, your vitals were unusually low for what you had been doing before. There was also a poison flowing through your blood stream, which is most likely the cause for your hallucinations and lack of ability in the field as of lately." Of course, Alfred would know about that.

But, poison? Well, shit. Who could have gotten something like that into me? Because of my training, I'm pretty resistant to most toxins. Maybe I should also be asking _what_ could affect me like this.

"What's the name of the poison?" I grumble, already going through a long list of all the possibilities.

"First, you need to thank myself and of course Master Richard for saving your life. You may be out of Wayne Manor, young lady, but that does not mean that you can treat us like scum." Ah, Alfred. The old butler is still tough enough to shove orders into a killers face. "And then after that, you are going to take a needed shower because you smell worse than Master Bruce does after he goes through the sewers."

I blush in embarrassment, and I scratch the back of my greasy head of hair. The last time I had been able to take a shower was at least a week ago.

I squirm for a moment before I give my best smile to him, "Thank you, Alfred, for taking care of me." Please kill me now.

He nods his head in approval before gently pulling out the needle. "Good, now go take a shower." Alfred pats my head like a dog, and I snort when his mouth quivers in disgust. He nods again, before walking out to the living room.

I stand up, noticing then that I'm only in my underwear and sports bra. I suddenly feel violated, and I grab a towel from the closet before locking myself in the bathroom.

After emptying out about half of the contents of Dick's shampoo and conditioner, than lathering myself in a thick amount of body wash, I step out of the shower with the towel wrapped around my naked body. Part of the reason that I don't take showers is because I always get too deep in thought about things. Bad memories usually come up, and it's hard to shove them back after they've reappeared in my mind. Which is part of the reason why I keep repeating myself as I think about everything.

I groan when I smell my undergarments. Good lord, maybe I could kill a few men with my stench alone. Geezus, thank you Alfred. I'd like to have a reputation of killing people, not for my stinky smell. Still wearing only the towel, I peer outside of the bathroom door.

Where did Alfred go? Bruce probably called him back to the Manor. I need to get out of here soon, and get back to work. I slowly creep to the laundry room to put my clothes in. I can get them back later.

"Jane?"

I yelp when I realize that I'm not alone, and I instinctively bring my elbow into the boy's face. "Argh!"

I grab Tim's hand before he can fall back from the shock of suddenly getting punched, and he blinks a couple of times. "Um, Jane, your towel-" I blush a deep red as I let go of him. As calmly and coolly as I can, I pick the towel back up and wrap it around myself. On the inside, I'm screaming at everything.

"What are you doing here, Drake?" I growl as I rush over to the laundry room, and throw the rest of my clothes into the washing machine with my others. Alfred must have put them in there earlier. The replacement hands me a big t-shirt that he had gotten from Dick's room, and I gratefully take it from him. I put it on when he turns around.

"Dick called since he wanted me to check up on you." He answers, obviously not completely thrilled to be here. "You're obviously enjoying yourself here."

"Alfred made me." I grumble, seriously considering whether or not I should punch him.

"Alfred? Jane, he's been in the Cave the entire day, helping Bruce find the Joker." Tim sounds and looks completely serious, but the kid's a professional liar. "He hasn't left there in hours."

I shake my head, and I pull my wet hair into a ponytail. "He. Was. Here."

He doesn't move from his spot even when I fight off his tight grip on my wrist. "Jane, I'm being serious."

"I am, too!" I bark, and I decide to just pull him to the bedroom. I point to the IV pole that was still there. "Alfred took the needle out for me, and then told me to take a shower!"

Tim sighs, and he let's go. "Alfred doesn't even know that you're even here. Only Dick and I do, so unless he's turned into a telepath-"

"Alright." I interrupt, not wanting to hear his sarcasm. That's when I know that he's not lying. I don't know, it's like a spider sense. Or maybe I really have turned insane now. Maybe I've truly crossed the line this time.

I sit on the bed, staring at the ground, not sure of what else to do. Tim disappears, and I notice the familiar black duffel bag under the nightstand next to Dick's bed. I use my foot to pull it over to myself, and I unzip it to see my helmet and mask. I pick up the big bucket, and I stare at it instead of the floor.

"Here, Jane."

Tim has a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, which I know is something that he 'specializes' at. It's not hard to make, and it's perfect for patrol. I nod my head in thanks, and take it from him. I nibble at it, not sure of what to say. This wasn't something that either of us expected to happen; being in Dick's apartment with me practically naked and him feeding me a sandwich while I'm slowly losing my mind.

"How's that super secret boy band of yours?" I ask, internally laughing at the joke.

"The Titans? They're fine. We're fine. And, would you please get it right for once?" Tim sighs when he sits next to me. "You were on the team, too."

"For only a couple of missions, and that was as Robin. I was never their all mighty leader." I remember one of those missions with the Titans wasn't too long before I died. That wasn't a ridiculously long time ago, actually. I'm not _that_ old.

"I'm not all mighty." He replies, shifting his weight, obviously uncomfortable with that statement. I snort, knowing fully well that I'm right from what information I've gotten on Red Robin and his Teen Titans.

Tim is trying to glance at me without my notice, but it's plain as day to me. "What?"

"I want to ask you if you're alright, but-"

"It's pretty obvious that I'm not." I shove the last of the sandwich into my mouth, and I pull my legs into my chest. I'm still holding my helmet in my hands, like I'm afraid to lose it.

Tim takes it from me gently, or at least tries to. I smack his hand away, and scoot to the other side of the bed to sit on one of the pillows on the bed. The big t-shirt goes over my knees as I cross them together. I don't know why I suddenly feel so protective over the helmet. It's not like it makes me the Red Hood. I'm the Red Hood because I'm the Red Hood. It's simple as that.

He rakes his hand through his hair, and he takes a deep breathe. "Jane, you need to trust me. You need to trust Dick. We're you're brothers-" I scoff at that, but he ignores it. "And we want to care for you like brothers. This is something that Dick would totally say, but just because you push us away, doesn't mean that we will push you away."

"True words of Goldie." I chuckle, though there is a lack of any emotion in my voice. I was beginning to feel numb as the replacement continued to talk. He was almost making me feel guilty. Almost.

"Jane…"

"Tim…" I mock him, sending a dark grin towards him. We're both silent for a little bit until it's rudely interrupted by the front door opening.

"Tim?" Dick's voice rings out in the air, and the replacement gets up to greet his big brother. He's met halfway at the door of the bedroom, and Dick smirks when he sees me. "Oh, good! You're awake, Jay!"

"If I wasn't just clothed in a damn shirt, I would kick you in the face." I growl at him, and that stupid smile of his only gets bigger.

Tim grabs his arm, and pulls him into the kitchen. I already know what he's going to talk about, but that's not what catches my attention. A loud beeping was going off in the laundry room, and I jump out of the bed. After seeing that the two Goldies are still in the kitchen, I creep over, and yank the clothes out from the dryer. These aren't mine, since mine are still in the washing machine.

"Oh, thanks for helping with the laundry." I jump when I hear Dick behind me, and I string a few curses before throwing the dry clothes at him.

"Sure. Whatever." I mumble, and finish putting the other load in. I know what he's trying to do: he's trying to act like nothing is going on, and that everything is perfectly fine. Honestly, I think I'd rather take Tim's upfront brotherly feelings.

When I look up, a bastard clown is staring me right back in the face. For a second, I'm completely terrified, until I snarl at him. This must have been a big joke for him. The entire place suddenly turns into a warehouse, scarily similar to what happened with him that night. That night in hell.

"Are you having fun yet?" He asks in that mocking voice of his. I crouch down, and swipe him off of his feet before jumping over him. I'm careful to pull the shirt lower on me, and I run down to the other end. I find Damian standing at the exit, and next to him is my helmet. Oh, this is going to be great.

I grab it, and avoid the little demon's fists. "Come on, Damian! Don't be such a brat!" I put my helmet on quickly, and I grab the hood on the kid's neck. He let's out a loud hacking sound before I just lift him onto my shoulder.

"Todd!" Damian yells at me, and I'm about to leap out of the window until it suddenly explodes. I shield my eyes with my arm, and leap back when the Joker is suddenly in front of me.

I should have grabbed my guns, or maybe a crow bar. That would have worked much more quickly.

Something is suddenly stuck into the back of my leg, and almost immediately, I lose feeling in it. I fall onto my side, with the demon child falling with me. "Todd!"

"I know!" I grunt, putting him behind me. "Just shut up, and don't get killed! For fuck's sake, I'm not the one that's supposed to be saving _you_." Something else sticks into my other leg, and my vision was beginning to blur. The Joker is standing over us, and I'm trying to shield Damian from the crow bar. The weapon comes screaming down at my face, and I black out.


	5. Chapter 5

It hurt. It actually hurt to remember. All of my memories are flashing through my eyes, every painful and good moment. More painful than good, just like I remember.

They appear almost like a fast forward video. The earliest is of me dealing with the abuse from my father, and having to fight my way back home with his drunken body leaning on me for support. Learning that my mother is dead when I find her in the bathroom that day after she had shot herself up with too much heroine. Having to live on my own on the streets, and doing exactly what my father was doing, stealing if he wasn't drunk before he eventually turned up dead like everyone in Gotham.

I wake myself up then, screaming as loud as I possible could, and someone is holding me in a tight embrace. Tears are running down my cheeks, and I don't dare to open my eyes. I'm being rocked back and forth like a baby, and I'm so confused that it just pushes me to cry harder.

"…Shhh, it's alright, Jane." Dick's voice suddenly echoes in my mind, and I feel like every part of me is shattering to pieces. For like the hundredth time in my life. I don't know what to do for once. Nothing is clear. What's real? What isn't? Maybe I'm dead. Again. But, the physical feelings of Dick's shirt gripped tight in my hands point to the opposite.

After who knows how long, I can't let anything else out, and just lay in his arms. I still haven't opened my eyes, sure that I was going to see something that I didn't want to. I was also semi enjoying his warmth, since I felt like I was freezing.

Dick's humming a song that I don't recognize, probably to try to calm me down more. I'm not much for that preppy pop music that is coming out lately. Or, maybe it's just that I haven't had time or motivation to listen to music radio stations.

"Jaybird, I know that you're awake." He says, after stopping his humming. "You can open your eyes."

"I-" I take a deep breathe before I sound like a bubbling idiot. "I can't."

"Are you worried that you're going to see Damian and the Joker again?" Dick asks, and his hands start rubbing the back of my head soothingly.

"That wasn't real?" I choke up a little bit, but nothing is able to come out. I really am extremely confused now. It was as if being in the apartment was the fake part of my mind, not the other way around. So, what is this then?

"No, it wasn't. The Joker is still out, and Damian, well…you know, he…" Dick is quiet for a moment, and my stomach drops when I realize what he's going to say. "Died. About six months ago, actually."

My eyes open wide, and I try to climb out of his arms. "No! That devil child is alive! I know it! I saw him clear as day! Why is the Joker alive when he isn't?" I'm screaming at the top of my lungs, and I manage to elbow Goldie in the throat. His grip on me lessens enough for me to lunge for the door.

When I open it, I come to an abrupt stop. Damian is standing there in his Robin uniform, with his arms crossed. He's wearing that glower that was on his face sixty percent of the time. "Todd, what are you doing?"

"Eh?"

"I'm gone for only a little bit, and you forget about me?" He looks away from me towards the floor, and I can feel the pain evident in his voice. "Why would you forget about me?"

"Dammit, Damian. That's not it! I just- I know you're alive! You're not dead!" Smoke suddenly fills my vision, and it was the last thing that I see before I black out again.

~Dick's view~

I feel bad for having to knock Jane out _again_. How many times has it been? Three? But, her hallucinations keep making her violent and clumsy. And, _loud. _The neighbors have been continuously knocking to make sure that everything is all right. For once, it isn't good that the old couple next door are unbelievably nice. It might get us in trouble.

Tim's working on finding a cause for Jane's delirium. I'm honestly at a loss for what is going on with her, but she's my little sister, and there's nothing that I wouldn't do to help her. Okay, maybe she's a little more than that, but it doesn't matter. I'm helping her out of this funk.

But, I've never seen her like this. This, meaning how…emotional she's being. I've never seen her cry, or heard her scream in terror, none of that. I used to think that the Lazarus pit had demolished every feeling that she could have inside of her or even before then at times. It's obvious that I was wrong, and Jane was probably dying on the inside while she put up this whole charade of her being a tough girl. I've always tried to not treat her like a villain like Bruce does, since she's gone through hell and then down another five hundred levels of hell. She's just doing what she believes in, and sometimes, I have to agree with her.

I sigh when I see her lying on the ground unconscious after the smoke disappears. I put away my gas mask before carefully picking her up. She's probably going to get a big bruise from falling on the tile floor. I thought Bruce had taught her how to fall correctly- oh wait, right. She's not exactly okay right now. Of course she wouldn't remember something like that.

Jane's head rests perfectly into the crook of my arm as I carry her wedding style. I'm careful not to pull her shirt up, since she'd probably smack me, thinking that I was being a pervert. What if she did something else though? I'm seeing a new Jane Todd, and now I'm not only determined to help her, but to also learn about her hidden self. Though, I know that she'd make fun of me for sounding so corny with that thought.

Before she died, Jane had never been much to socialize with others like I did as a teenager. I think it was because she was still adjusting to living in Wayne Manor with Alfred and Bruce, and getting used to being taken cared of like a family. She wasn't even used to the fact that she didn't have to steal food, but I guess that's why Bruce introduced me to her when she first moved in.

I gently put Jay on my bed, tucking her in like I remember my parents and Bruce used to. I lazily run my hands through her long curly hair, just out of habit.

I tense up slightly when she turns a little bit in her sleep towards my hand. Is she purring?

I shake my head, and gently pull my hand back to take out my phone. I need to call Tim, and hope that he got at least _something._

"Dick-"

"Tim, just get to the point. Do you have anything from Jane's blood sample?" I ask, since the little bird was going to ask about Jay, and we don't have time since we don't even know what's going on. Or, at least I don't.

"There is something that's in her, a poison. I think antibiotics will cure it." He tells me the name, and I start to pace back and forth.

"I feel like there's something more to this than just a poison. That toxin shouldn't affect Jane as much as it is. It only makes the victim result in having a fever, yet she's completely fine." I stop, and stare at the sleeping girl in my bed. "She just had another episode."

"What?"

"I'm still trying to piece together what she saw, but I was right about her thinking that it was Damian and the Joker." I forgot who told me this, but someone had once said that someone's nightmares are a view into their soul and deepest secrets. Joker I get, but Damian? Is it because he died? Or, because she was there when it actually happened?

"Dick, maybe we should, um, I don't know. Get her some _professional _help…." He falters at the end, and I sigh.

"No, we'll just see what happens when we get the toxin out." I hang up to kneel back down next to Jay. Her face is scrunched up like she's about to cry again, and out of pure instinct, I rub her cheek with my thumb as I cradle the rest of her head in my hand. "What's going on, Jane?" I mutter.

**AN: Hi! Hope you're liking the story so far! It's obvious that Jane's not exactly...sane right now, so don't believe everything the narrator says. That was sort of the point of the past couple of chapters, but I forgot to say that last chapter. Whoops! Anyways, review, favorite, follow- do whatcha want! But, if you want anything to happen to Jane or any of the Batfamily, say it! I want to continue this story since it's been so much fun to write! **


	6. Chapter 6

~Jay's view~

The first time I came to the Manor, I was completely overwhelmed. I mean, the mansion is bigger than ten mansions put together, or at least that's what it felt like.

Bruce, excuse me, _Batman_ had found me ripping off his tires on his Batmobile a couple of months ago, and I'm going to say this for the billionth time: that was stupid as fuck. Well, Bruce got my name and information, and sent me to a school for "troubled youths". Needless to say, in a couple of months, I was adopted by him, and that was when my life as a Wayne started.

Which means that I was not only living with Bruce, but also Alfred and Dick. Dick was only a couple of years older than me, so he was still living there then as his ward. But, Dick had grown out of being Robin, and had just recently begun his career as Nightwing. He was mostly working with the Teen Titans, so the job of Robin had fallen vacant.

I had just gotten a tour of the Manor from Bruce when Alfred introduced himself to me like we hadn't met a couple of months ago by me being bound and gagged by the Batman. "Hello Madam Jane. I am Alfred Pennyworth, Master Wayne's and your butler. I'm also known as the medic for Batman and Robin as you know." He had whispered the last part with a wink, and I was smiling like I was in one of those fucked up beauty pageants.

"I have a butler?" I exclaim, totally dismissing his other job, and I puff up my flat chest with a laugh. I had figured that they were going to tell me since it's obvious that Batman aka Bruce Wayne had just adopted me. Batman was the only person that I know who would do that. I mean, I have been helping him out lately. Plus, I had ran into the top part of the house from the Cave. That pissed the billionaire off. "So, if I asked you to make me a sandwich, then you would?"

"Yes, if that's what you would like."

"Aha, wow!" I rubbed the back of my neck, totally not sure of what to do then. Suddenly living as the daughter of one of the richest people in the world was beginning to overwhelm me, and for once, I wasn't sure of what to do with that power.

Dick walked into the house then, straight from a mission with the Teen Titans. Under his pants and jacket, anyone could see his Nightwing costume peeking out from beneath it. He had rushed over when he heard about the new official addition to the family, and he was wearing that famous smirk. "So, you're the famous Jane Todd?"

"Who else would it be?"

"Catwoman comes around a lot," He winks at me, and my entire face turns red in a blush. "I'm Dick Grayson, as you probably know, and Nightwing as well. Past Robin. Bruce probably told you right? Have you shown her the Cave yet?"

Cave? Uh, duh. It's the first place that Batman took me too. Of course, bound and gagged. Bruce motions for me to follow him, since I was still completely new to everything here.

We go into the parlor, and he turns the grandfather clock to be at 10:45. It slides forward to reveal a staircase travelling down, and Dick suddenly grabbed my hand to lead me down it. "Come on, slowpoke!"

His hand enveloped my small one, and I was a bit redder in the face than my usual tan skin. But, the Bat Cave catches my eyes, like anyone else's. "Fuck, did this place get bigger?"

"Careful with your language, Madam Jane." Alfred says as he strolls by me with a smirk.

"Don't worry, he says that to everyone." Dick whispered in my ear, chuckling.

I snort, but ignore the boy's continuous smirk to look at every odd souvenir and toy that Batman has down here. I laugh when I see that the Batmobile was still missing tires. "I think you forgot about something, Bats."

"Well, I was going to replace them, and then I thought- why not have Robin do it for me?" Bruce was grinning a bit, and I wonder what he meant by that. I look over at Dick, who points to the glass case with his old uniform.

"He's talking about you, Jaybird."

"I have a position opened for Robin." Bruce tells me, putting his hand gently on my shoulder. "Would you like the job?"

"Seriously? But, I'm a girl!" I had a nagging feeling that it was also because of my criminal history, and that the goddamn Batman was just trying to make his job 'easier'. Once again, why else would he have adopted me? I wasn't a completely lost cause, yet.

"You have short black hair, so you'll look like Dick in the costume, and with some more training, you could be just as good."

"Hey, hey! Are you sure about that?" Dick crosses his arms in a mocking pout, but he giggles anyways. "Maybe, probably not though. I've got the upper hand on experience."

Alfred couldn't wait a second longer, and he takes a step closer to me. "So, will you take on the job?"

"It'll be fun!"

I looked up at the Robin costume, and smirk. "Hell yes."

My career as Robin started then, and I'm still surprised that not even Commissioner Gordon could figure out that I was a girl. He knew that I wasn't the same Robin as before, but it ended there to his knowledge of my identity. Bruce was sure to make that so. I probably should have noted the way that he always compared me to Dick when we were working together. I wasn't better than him at being Robin, despite my efforts.

I met a lot of famous people as Robin and Jane Wayne, which included the other superheroes of course. I still remember laughing in hysteria when I met Superman because he scared the crap out of me, almost as much as messing up on a mission with the Batman. He's a fucking alien with out of this world super powers, who wouldn't be intimidated?

But, I'm going to say this. Hormones. I hated them then, and I hate them now. Gawd, I was one of the thousands of girls who had a stupid crush on the famous Richard Grayson. I never got over it, but I just sort of shoved the crush and Dick out of the way. I mean, I lived with the guy for a little while. I know more about him than maybe even Barbara Gordon aka Batgirl does. Ha! I'd love to shove that in her face some day.

It was at this thought did I wake up, back in Dick's bed, still in his ginormous shirt, with him sitting next to me on the floor. He was sleeping since it was mid day, and he probably didn't have any Nightwing business or whatever he's doing during the day time these days. Which is basically being a social butterfly and representing the Wayne business like I didn't. Or, I should be saying can't, since I'm supposed to be dead still.

I lift my arm a bit to see that I have the IV back in my arm again, and I quickly slip it out. I crawl to the other side of the bed, and take a step off. From lack of movement from however long I've been out, I fall onto my face, and curse at whatever was making my body feel like deep shit. Oh right, the poison that Alfred mentioned right? Maybe it was my mind's way of telling me what the hell is going on?

Without looking to see if Dick was awake, I scramble towards the laundry room to grab my uniform. I quickly tug it on, and with a little bit more confidence, I walk back to the bedroom to grab my duffel bag and helmet. Dick was still sleeping, and I easily climb through the window to the staircase outside the apartment building.

I stop to look back at him for a moment. "Sorry, Dickiebird. I've gotta go take care of a few things." I put on my mask and helmet before leaving him.

A couple of minutes later, I'm back on my bike, and driving through the skies to get to someplace that isn't Gotham. But, an idea sparks in my head, and I set it to autopilot before jumping off. I'm willing to bet money that both Tim and Dick had put tracers on it. Oh well, it was a nice bike while it lasted.

I roll when I land on a building, and race across the rooftops of its neighbors. I was beginning to get a headache, but I distract myself by looking for my way out of Gotham.

I see a motorcycle sitting in the street, and a small girl was leaning against it like she was waiting for someone. Oh, great. Well, everyone already hates Red Hood, so it can't get any worse right?

I leap in front of her, and she jumps a little bit in surprise. I pull out my empty gun, and point it at her. "Give me the keys, and I'll leave you- Clara?" It was the same girl that I had saved on New Years Eve, however long ago that was. I immediately put the gun away, and smack myself in the face of my helmet. I can't believe I just tried to steal a motorcycle from a kid like her!

"Red Hood?" The girl asks, innocently, and I turn my head, preparing myself to see the fear in her face. "Is something wrong?"

My headache was worsening by the second, and I was getting a bit frustrated with my clumsiness. It's a miracle that Batman hasn't found me. "Just trying to hitch a ride out of here. Sorry, kid." I pull out my grapple gun from my duffle bag, but she suddenly takes my gloved hand in hers.

"Can I come with you?" I look down at her in surprise, and I see the tears and desperation in her eyes. I put the grapple gun away, and kneel down in front of her.

"Clara, what's wrong?"

"S-Someone killed my daddy!" She sniffles, trying to stop any more tears. "I-I don't have anyone else to go to, and he's still in my apartment and-" Clara begins sobbing harder, and I sigh. I'm going soft.

"Can you show me where your father is?" I ask. "Maybe I can figure out why someone killed him, while figuring out a new place for you." I get up, and she immediately starts to pull me up through the building in front of the bike. It was strange because the place was abandoned, according to the computer in my helmet, yet it looked new and like people were housed in it.

We go to the top floor, and Clara opens one of the doors to reveal a bloody mess inside. Her father is lying on the ground, with a few gunshots in his chest with his chopped off head rolled to the side. Looks like whoever he was, he had been tortured before he was shot. The murderer had then cut off his head and shot him for some reason as well.

"Clara, what is-" She suddenly disappears, along with the bloody scene and the rest of the apartment. I'm standing in the middle of a burnt, abandoned apartment building, just like my helmet had said.

"Dammit." I mutter to myself. It seems that the girl was gone too. Here we go again.

A loud boom suddenly erupts beneath me, and I start running towards the broken windows. But, I'm caught by the explosion, and the force shoots me out like a rocket. I land on the street, and let out a loud groan.

Geez, that fucking hurt! I'm pretty sure that I broke a few ribs from the bad landing. It wasn't the first time that this has happened, but fuck it all! It still hurts!

I get up, stumbling a bit, until I get to the motorcycle that was still there. Well, that's good. I get on, and rev the engines before riding out of the city. If I didn't, Dick would keep looking like a stubborn dick (ehehe) until he found me, and it would lead to Batman getting suspicious as to why. I really don't need to be here for that.

I drive until the gas in the motorcycle runs out just a couple of miles from a safe house that I have in this mountain range. Damn. If I didn't feel so crappy, I would have been all right. But, it's obvious that it's about to storm here soon, and I'm going to have to find some cover.

Using my helmet, I find a small cave that was hidden in a pile of rock. I push the motorcycle up to it, and throw it down before collapsing inside. I'm breathing hard as I sweat from the weird temperature increase, even when it starts to rain. I pull off my jacket, and then the rest of my clothes until I'm lying in only my underwear and bra. It would be embarrassing if anyone found me like this, but dammit, it was hot.

I chuckle to myself, knowing fully well that this was probably the work of the poison that my 'hallucinated Alfred' had told me about. Well, at least I'll know that if I see anyone, I'll know that they're not real. I'm in the middle of nowhere of course.

**AN: Here's another chapter just for funzies! I'm too excited by this story! Ahhaha! Review, favorite, follow please! Especially the reviews! I'm a newbie still at this writing gig so I'll take all the advice that I can get!**


	7. Chapter 7

~Dick's view~

Shit, shit, shit. Where did Jane go? Her clothes and bag are gone, and I'm silently freaking out at the moment. I call Tim immediately. "She's gone."

"Who's gone?"

"Jane."

He groans, and I hear him roll on his chair to one of his other computers in his office. "I have a GPS tracker on her bike, but it's disappeared. She probably put it on autopilot to get us off her tail. Did you put one in her clothes?"

Oh, right. I was panicking when I saw that she was gone, and I forgot that I had done that just in case that this ever happened. "Oh, right!"

"How did she even escape? Don't tell me you let her go!" I sigh, and rake my hands through my hair.

"Obviously not." I mumble. "I'll find her." I hang up, not in the mood to get a speech from a seventeen year old. I walk over to my desk in my office, and look at where the GPS signal is coming from on Jane's helmet. It shows the path that she had taken until she stopped on Ridge Mountain, which is quite a few miles away from here. Problem is, she's stopped moving, which is worrisome for her current condition.

~Jay's view~

"Tell me what hurts more," Another hard smack with the crow bar. "A," and another, "or B."

How long had this been going on? How much more could I take? It felt like forever, and I probably could last forever because of the training Bruce had given me.

Was Bruce even going to make it in time before Joker landed the killing blow? I don't know where I am, but I'm sure that the GPS tracker in my shoe will allow him to find me.

Joker stops for a moment, and I'm trying to catch my breath as he talks. I can barely understand him at this point.

He suddenly grabs the bottom of my chin, and forces me to look up at his creepy face. I spit blood into his face, and my head gets smashed into the ground in response. "Boohoo, I like the Robin before you better. At least he had some manners." He continues beating me again, and the thoughts of leaving Bruce, Alfred, and Dick were screaming in my mind. That was more terrifying to me than actually dying.

"Well, I really enjoyed-hm, you know what?" Joker suddenly begins to feel around my hips, until his hand rests right on top of my lower area. "Eh? No bulge!" He rips the already ripped fabric off, and his maniacal laugh. "Ha! I knew it! Robin number two isn't a boy!"

I grit my teeth, but I'm unable to move or even flinch when he starts touching me. No! No! This isn't happening! He isn't- No!

"Stop it!" I try to scream at him, but it only turns into a gurgle as I almost choke on my own blood.

"You're not as fun as Harley, that's for sure. Maybe if you got a little bit of a chest I would enjoy this a bit more." Joker laughs again before looking me in the eyes. "Still, this was fun. Well, more for me at least." He stands up, cackling, and begins to walk towards the door of the warehouse. "See you later, chicka! Oh, and be sure to tell the Bats that I say hello!"

He struts out, and slams the door behind him. I wince as the sound reverberates through my head.

After a few moments, I sit up, and twist my handcuffed arms to be in front of me. Pain is riveting through me like never before, but I ignore it as I crawl to the door that the Joker had just left from. I'm still alive! I can go back to the Manor! I'll be able to see Bruce, Alfred, and Dick again! Ha! What a mistake you made, Joker! I'll make sure you live in hell for eternity for today!

I reach the door, and try to open it. Nothing. It doesn't even budge. I groan, hoping that Batman or Nightwing will make it here in time. My utility belt is gone. Joker probably kept it as a souvenir. I slump my back to the wall, and lean my head against it.

My ears suddenly prick up at the sound of a low beeping noise. I shift my head to see a pile of dynamite with a timer on it. It was counting down from ten.

It was in that moment that I realize that I wasn't going to make it. Even if Bruce or Dick were at the door, they wouldn't have been able to get me out in time still.

I'm going to die.

It really isn't their fault that this happened. I'm the stupid one who thought I could take on the Joker, but that obviously didn't happen. Gawd, Dick and Bruce are going to be a mess. I would be if one of them died. I'm going to miss all of Dickie bird's puns and handsome face and Alfred's terrible cooking. I'm going to miss my father, Bruce. He was more of one to me than my biological father ever had been.

But, they'll move on. They'll have to. They have a city to save from itself. They'll avenge me because they loved me, and kill that damn clown once and for all. Everyone will be happy again at some point.

Three…Two-I take a deep breathe, and picture the three of them smiling at me...

One.

Gone.

I'm gasping for breath when my mind sort of shocks me back to reality from the explosion, and I'm panicking for a second as I try to grasp reality again. I rub my eyes, and blink a couple of times when I realize that I'm not alone.

A girl with brunette hair was sitting across from me on the rock floor, probably only a couple of years younger than myself, and she has a huge smirk on her face. "Hello." That smirk is definitely almost evil from the sound of her tone. I move my hand to my duffel bag where my clothes and guns are, but find that it's not sitting next to me.

"Looking for this?" The girl lifts up the bag, chuckling a little bit at her little victory. Damn, I want to kill this bitch. Who the hell does she think she is?

"Okay, what the fuck?" I growl, curling my hands into fists. She only shrugs, and I try to leap for my bag, still in only my bra and underwear, but I remember too late that I have broken ribs. I groan, and fall onto my side. Dammit! Why does it hurt so much more than usual? I don't remember it ever being _this_ bad.

"Careful, you've got a few ribs cracked, and you're running a fever." The girl says, like a smart ass.

I only glare at her as I push myself to sit back to back with the cavern wall. "Who the hell are you, and what's your problem?"

"I'm disappointed that you don't remember me, but of course, it's been a few years. You look a little bit different yourself." She says coolly as she looks me up and down. "I'm Clara Grand. Does that spark any familiarity for you?"

Clara Grand, Clara Grand, Clara Grand…Other than the Clara that I had met- hey! She looks like an older version of that little girl that I saved. "Is this a joke?"

"Oh, come on! You haven't figured it out yet?"

"What?" I'm so utterly confused right now, it's not even funny. Why did she tell me her last name? Grand, Grand, Grand… The only name that I could put to that was a guy that I killed that was working for the Joker when I was first looking for the bastard after I came back to life.

But, I do faintly remember him having a daughter.

"That would be me." Clara's entire persona changes to being dark and not friendly. Oh, this is going to be fun. "I was there when you tortured him for information on the Joker, but he was framed. He didn't know anything, and you still killed him!"

I snort. "I remember your daddy very well, and boy, are you wrong. He was the second in command next to Joker. He even wore those stupidly colorful suits to work with him. I am sorry for doing it in front of you, but in order to stop a bigger criminal, I had to kill your father." I stop myself from adding 'Deal with it.' It's obvious that she hasn't since it's been a couple of years.

"Stop talking to me like a kid!" She barks, not believing a single word.

"Well, excuse me, but you're the one who had shape shifted into a freaking kid!" I yell back at her, immediately regretting it when my ribs ache in protest.

"I didn't shape shift! That was just a glamour that I projected into your mind!" She tells me. Oh, so she's a meta human. A telepathic one apparently. I really don't like telepaths. They're nosey little buggers. Clara points at her temple, smirking a little bit. Obviously, she knows what I'm thinking right now. "I know exactly what you're thinking, and I can see every memory that you've ever had. You've had a pretty shitty life, Jane Todd."

"I really don't need someone like you telling me that." I hiss, and she laughs at me. "So, are you the one that's been messing up with my head? Why I keep seeing hallucinations?"

"Maybe."

I growl at her, feeling unrivaled hatred towards her for making me such a weakling in front of Grayson _and_ Drake. "You bitch! It's not my fault that your father was a stubborn jack ass who worked for the Joker!"

"It's not my fault that you killed him like a dog! He could have-"

"No, he couldn't. He would have gone to Blackgate prison, gotten back out like all the others, and continued to work for the Joker because he gets paid well. He killed a lot of innocent people, Clara, and he would have killed more." I've seen it all before. Killing criminals ends that cycle. "I wouldn't have done it in front of you, though. No one deserves to see that happen to their parents."

"But, I did."

"And, I'm truly sorry for that." I watch her, wondering what she's going to do now that I've apologized sincerely.

"Sorry doesn't cut it. You're going to pay for what you've done!" Clara grits her teeth, obviously restraining herself from killing me right then and there. She's probably capable of doing it just with her telepathic mind. "Damn right I'm capable of it! But, I want you to suffer."

"Oh, please. You sound like every other criminal on the planet." I grumble. This girl was making me want to bang my head against the wall because of how cliché she sounded.

"Shut up! You've already experienced a part of what I'm capable of! I'm not even close to being finished!" Clara smirks as she taps her fingers on her knee in a roll. "I was enjoying myself when you died. So, let's pick up with what happens after that, eh? I like seeing it like a movie, it's so much fun."

"Why you-" She suddenly kicks me hard where my ribs are cracked. "Agh!" Motherfucker! I'm cussing in my head at mock speed as I pull myself into a better lying position. Dammit! It hurts like hell!

The pain was making it hard to stay awake, and Clara's psychotic laughter wasn't helping either. Ow…

Everything suddenly turns a bright acidic green, and I feel like I'm drowning. I swim up to the top as quickly as I can, and gasp as I take a breath. My first breathe.

I look around to see people dressed in robes with their faces being covered by hoods. I was terrified and confused. I have no idea where I am, and my senses were going crazy. It was like everything was on over drive.

I swim through the green, bubbling liquid at top speed, tripping over the stairs that led to it.

"Stop her!" Someone yells, and I scream as the robed people start attacking me. Why are they doing this? What is going on? With inhuman strength, I send them flying into the walls surrounding us. Where do I go? Where am I? Who am I?

A tall, beautiful brunette woman suddenly appears next to me, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up to see her sitting at the foot of the bed that I'm on. What happened?

"Jane Todd Wayne," She says gently, and it was as if she had flipped a switch in my brain. It was only a couple of seconds, but I remembered every memory, which meant I know who she is: Talia al Ghul.

I get up in a crouch, but she grabs my arms and holds me down with unreal strength that I didn't even know that she had. Or, am I just that weak? "Jane, relax. You're safe here."

"Safe? But-"

"I've never actually hurt Robin or the Batman in my life, do you really think I'm going to start now? I've only done everything for you to be alive and safe." Damn, I'm so confused. It's true that we never actually fought with her, just her father, Ra's al Guhl, but she was still well known throughout the superhero world as a woman with powerful allies. Okay, and she's made out with Bruce quite a few times. He says that it's not like that, but there's so much bull shit coming from him when he says that, that I have to restrain myself from punching him for lying to me.

"Where is Batman?" I ask, still tense, and ready to run. I have to remind myself that she knows who Batman is. "Where is Bruce?"

"In Gotham City." She answers, smiling a little bit. "He has no idea that you're alive. You were dead for a few days."

"Like six feet under kind of a dead? Because, I'm pretty sure that the coroner needs to go back to school. I'm still alive and kicking." I even pinch myself, because _I _thought that I was dead. I remember everything so…clearly. I remember that short moment of pain before I…well, I don't know.

"Jane, do you remember the Lazarus Pits? They're the baths that my father bathes himself in to have never ending life." And, they cause him to be an insane maniac, but it seems that she's overlooking that. "There had been stories that it could bring back the dead and I thought that you had potential to a better life to do more good in the world."

Talia was still holding my arms, and I still thought that she was a slut and a lunatic. Even more so of a lunatic now actually. "Is this the after life? Because it's sucking way more than I thought it would be."

She let's go, and leans back on her heels as she looks at me with some disappointment evident on her face. "You've seen my father enter the Lazarus pit, and come back forty years younger. This is just another part of the power that the pits hold."

Okay, okay, I've got to give her credit. She's right. And, I have a pretty good memory of myself dying still. I wince as my head starts to hurt, and memories of what happened after I first saw Talia enters my mind.

"Stop Jane!" She told me, and I just scream at her. My mind wasn't clear. Everything was wrong! I was scared! Nothing makes sense! What's going on?

It was terrifying to think about.

"Ah, so you've regained your memories of those few moments after your rebirth. I am quite sorry for that. Anyone who isn't used to the pits is driven a bit mad until-"

"You knock them out." I mutter, remembering her using a knock out gas on myself. I rake my hands through my hair, shocked, and still trying to calm myself down from that moment of insanity. "Damn." I still can't believe this. Well, I mean I can, cuz I'm a full fledge living zombie. But, it's so out of this world.

Thoughts of going back to Bruce, Alfred, and Dick suddenly flash in my mind, and I smile at her. "I'm alive!" I couldn't help feeling like I was immortal and able to do anything. "Ha! This is great! How long have I been out?"

Talia is smirking a little bit, probably enjoying my reaction. "A few weeks. Batman is still protecting Gotham, along with Nightwing. Batman has already captured the Joker, and put him back in Arkham. Jane Todd Wayne's death was only an accident in-"

"Wait, wait a second." I lean towards her, slightly surprised by something. "The Joker is still alive?"

"Yes. He's in Arkham, like I said."

Bruce and Dick didn't do it. They didn't kill that bastard clown for me. He's probably killed a few hundred people since _I_ died, and he's still alive! I thought that I mattered enough for them to make sure that I was the last victim. I bend my head down, and put my hands on my face.

"Jane, what's wrong?" Talia asks as she makes me lift my head up with her hand.

"They didn't kill the damn Joker for me! They just ignored my death, and treated him like any other criminal, when we all know that he's more than that!" Righteous fury bubbles up in me, and I start punching the pillow that was next to me. "I'm just someone that got in the cross fire for them! I'm nothing!" I was just a charity case. I was orphaned, and causing trouble just to survive on the streets. They took me in, feeling bad for my pitiful situation, and to keep me quiet about how they spend their nights, they turned me into their side kick. Batman's sidekick. A copy of the first Robin. An attempted copy. Mostly a colorful target. They don't even care that I'm gone. I'm nothing to them. Just something that they had in their home, that died, like a pet.

Talia is watching me as I continue to punch the pillow. She only silently takes my hands, and forces me to stop. "Please stop. You're only hurting yourself."

I realize that I'm crying as the liquid tears flow from my eyes, and she pulls me into a hug. I stiffen up a little bit, especially when she starts to rub my back. "You are worth something, Jane." The motherly action was so foreign to me that I just sat there, shaking from the effects of everything that's happened. "You have the potential to be better than Batman. To fix what he hasn't bothered to fix, and help humanity evolve into something better than it is now. That's why I brought you back to our world." Talia holds me out in front of her, still smiling. "I can help you. You know that I have connections, and I think that a specific one will definitely help you be the person that you want to be."

It wasn't too long after that, that I am trained under Ducra and the All Caste. I learned some serious shit from them, and I was eternally grateful for that serious shit. Yeah, I was most definitely a stubborn little prick in their side, but they're still my mentors. And then I finished my training, and Ducra let me leave to go out and "make a difference" in the world. It's only been a little bit over a year since my 'rebirth', and that was when I started working on my own did I take on the Red Hood mantle.

Oh, yes! I knew fully well that the Red Hood was the name that Joker used before he was the Joker. I don't care. Batman gets to use his big fat and adorable fear with wings, then why can't I use a past name of the clown that's number one on my hit list? I think of it as a way to mock him, and still be badass.

I made a name for myself for a little before starting my work in Gotham. By then, it had been a couple of years since I had died, and Bats has a new Robin that is more uptight than Batman. That's saying something.

After taking control of most of the drug trade from Black Mask, much to his dismay, the big boom comes when he results to breaking out Joker to get to me. I've already killed a ton of crooks that don't deserve another chance at life, which includes a certain Johnny Grand. Which means that I've gotten on the Bat family's bad side as well.

"Let's end here." Clara's voice suddenly wakes me up, and I groan as I feel the pain of my broken ribs. "This is so much fun! I love going through people's memories! It's like watching a really good movie."

"You're insane." I grunt, holding my side, and trying not to black out again.

"No, not as crazy as you." She laughs, and I roll my eyes. Bitch. "Hm, so guess what? Your little boy crush is riding on his blue motorcycle, coming after you. That's so cute." This girl is losing her mind. Clara is talking about Dick right? I'm completely out of reach from Gotham and Bludhaven. Why the hell would he come out here?

"Because, you dumb bitch, he looooves you." She winks at me, and I huff with a wince quickly afterwards. "I've been inside his mind. I can take his apart just like yours. That'll destroy your cute little Dickiebird."

"Can I at least have my shirt?" I grumble, suddenly feeling self-conscious about how naked I am, despite still feeling like I'm on fire with a migraine worse than, well-worse.

"No. I like how you do half of the torturing for me. It's all in your head, and if I just pull a few strings, you just get super depressed. It's hilarious." I hate this girl. Really, I do. Like a ridiculous amount.

"Why did you bring Damian into this?" I ask, the question sort of just popped into my mind, and I wonder if she was the one that put it there.

"Because he's your little brother with the same trouble that you have. You call him demon child, but you know that you're just as much of one as he is." Clara answers. "Both of your primary instincts are to kill people, and you were both close with Talia al Guhl. Don't tell me that you didn't have the most brotherly love for him out of your three brothers. Timmy comes in a close second, and Dick, well, we both know how that is."

"Go to hell." She was right. Shut up!

**AN: So, what do you guys think? You weren't expecting that turn of events with Clara were you? Boom! I hope that was an awesome plot twist! Review, favorite, follow please! And, any advice is greatly appreciated! BTW: Sorry for the last chapter being a little bit funky for the ones who caught it first. Obviously, I fixed it. Anyways, get ready for some feels in the next few chapters. I was definitely feeling them when I was writing. **


	8. Chapter 8

"Jane!" I hear Dick's voice suddenly calling my name, and Clara obviously does as well when she perks up a little bit. "Jane! Where are you?"

"Oh, this is going to be so much fun!" She giggles.

I take a deep breathe, and close my eyes. Clara's not going to be doing anything to Dick or anyone else. I begin to cleanse my mind, slowly feeling the absence of her presence in my mind. Thank you Ducra!

I can hear Clara jump in surprise, and she growls. "What are you doing?"

I only smile back, and ignore her until I hear a cry from outside of the cave. It's still raining, unfortunately, and the fact that I could hear it wasn't good. "What did you do?"

"Oh, you know, doing the same thing that I did to you. Only to him. Let's get him out of the cold, shall we?" She leaves to pull the stupid acrobat in here next to me. He's unconscious, and I can see blood trailing from somewhere around the back of his head. I'm not sure if I want to also know what's going on his mind with the psycho telepath right here.

Clara straddles his waist, and I hiss as she starts to rub her hands around his- "Stop!" She only giggles as she then begins to trail her fingernails across his chest. Dick would hate this. Whether he was a Golden Boy or not. "Oh, this is just working out all too perfectly. Why don't we take a dip into his head together?"

I hack up blood as she hits her heeled shoe into my side, and I'm suddenly standing in front of a grave.

_My_ grave. Clara and I are behind Dick as he kneels in front of the gravestone. He's crying his eyes out as he has one hand on the top of the stone slab with "Jane Todd Wayne" written on it.

"Jane, I'm so sorry." He whispers through sobs, and I move forward to tell him that I'm not dead, but some hidden force keeps me back. Probably Clara. I growl at her, and leap at her, but everything suddenly changes to the Batcave. I land on the hard floor with a loud thud, but no one takes notice of it since this is a memory.

Bruce and Dick are both staring at the big computer screen that they have, and they're in complete shock. On the screen is my name next to Red Hood with a big 100% underneath them. This was the moment that they had learned that the Red Hood is I. Or, that Jane Todd Wayne is Red Hood. I've always wondered…

"Are you sure?" Dick asks, his voice was quiet and rough.

"Yes, positively." Bruce answers.

"Check it again."

"Dick, I've checked _three _times already. It's her."

A clattering of dishes comes from behind them, and they both turn to see Alfred. He had dropped the platter that had tea on it onto the ground. He's completely silent, but his face spoke volumes of the surprise that he was feeling.

"A terrible daughter you are." Clara whispers to me, and I glare at her.

"Shut. Up."

"We're in Dickiebird's mind. You don't have any authority here. Let's go to another memory!" She laughs, and we're suddenly on a snowy mountain hillside. Judging from the rush of both Dick and Bruce up it, I'm guessing this is that other fateful event. The one where I died. I hiss at her, and she giggles again. "This is so much fun for me!"

Both Bruce and Dick jump off of their bikes when they get up to the warehouse, and they're almost there until the entire place explodes. The force blows them back, and I wince as the rubble covers them.

After the shock wave passes, and the smoke clears, Dick and Bruce get up and start searching for me wildly. Dick finds me in the center, dead. I stare at myself, suddenly feeling super embarrassed about my dead body for some reason. My Robin uniform was stripped to shreds, so I was practically naked. And, dead.

Dick picks me up in his arms, only looking at my bruised and scarred face. A part of my mask is hanging from my temple, and he pulls it off. "Jane…" He runs his hands through my short black hair, and he sobs as he holds me close to his chest.

Bruce stands in front of him, looking just as "heart broken". He wasn't saying anything, he wasn't even crying. Typical Bruce.

Dick's reaction was ripping me apart though. He was shaking me, trying to make me up like I was just sleeping. "Come on, Jane. This isn't a joke." He screams out in pain when I still don't respond, and Bruce falls down, and holds both of us.

"Dick, she's gone." He whispers.

And then I see them. The tears. He actually cries.

I can't take looking at them anymore, and I narrow my eyes at her. I know that I'm crying myself, but I ignore that fact. "You're done, bitch."

"What're you going to do? Kill me?" She snorts, and I give her my best smile.

"Exactly." I grab her wrist, and yank back. We're back in the real world, and despite every part of my body screaming at me, I kick her in the face. With her down for even a moment, I lunge for my duffel bag, and pull out my guns. Both of them are loaded, and I turn the safety off as I shoot her multiple times. Damn, this is so much easier now that she's out of my head.

She slumps onto the ground, and I kick her in the back. Clara doesn't move, and I purse my lips together. I guess I have to add her on my list of kills.

Almost immediately, Dick's eyes flutter open, and that surge of adrenaline that I had runs out. I fall onto my butt, and groan as I hold my sides. It hurt even more now from the rash movements.

"Jane!"

"Oh, _now_ you're awake." I grin as he sits up, and moves closer to me. "How was your nap?"

He rubs his eyes and shakes his head. "Jane, I'm more worried about you. You look like shit."

"Yeah, well, thank her." I lazily point at the dead corpse across from us. "She's the reason that I was going insane." I'm quiet for a moment, before I say it out loud. "Bitch."

"So, you're not going to see anything or anyone anymore?" Dick sits closer to me, as I nod my head. He was obviously a bit uncomfortable with the dead girl that I had just shot to smithereens. Dick was never good with Death.

"Yeah. How's your head?" I grunt as I raise my hand to feel around the back of his neck. He winces a little bit when I touch a soft spot, and I hold out my hand to see that it's covered in blood. "Crap. You need to get that cleaned up." I fumble for my helmet that was sitting next to me, and I'm about to tug it over my head until Dick stops me.

"I've already got Tim on his way here." He mutters as he takes it, and places it away from me. "You need to lie down. Where does it hurt?"

I roll my eyes. "Look, _mom_, I've gone through worse, and you know it. I'll be –" Dick suddenly pokes me in my side, and I growl as pain floods through me. "Dick!"

"See? I don't care if you've gone through worse. You're lying down. I'm willing to bet money that your other side is just as bad." He helps me down, and moves the duffel bag under my head to serve as a pillow. "Better?"

"Yes." I grumble. Dick sighs with content, and he slumps back into the wall. "Good."


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Some serious Damian feels in this chapter! I was totally missing him when I wrote it!**

We're quiet as we wait for Tim to come pick us up, and I was having a difficult time staying awake. I crane my neck a little bit, and I almost jump out of my skin when I see Damian sitting cross legged next to me. He's holding his head in his hand, and he's lazily twirling a dagger in his other hand.

"Hey, Jay."

"Y-you're still-"

"Yeah, I am. It's a long story." Dami makes eye contact with me, and he gives me that mischievous little smile of his. "I just wanted to talk to you again while you were sane, sis." I find myself tearing up, still having a hard time believing that he was dead. I still don't remember, despite Clara being dead.

Damian suddenly holds his hand out to me. "Let's take a walk."

"Dami, that's a little-" He yanks me up, and I'm surprised when I don't feel any pain. Oh, it's a dream, right? I'm wearing my Red Hood suit, and I'm a bit thankful for that.

"Yes, this is a dream. Come on, Todd." The little boy continues to hold my hand as we walk through the ever-expanding white space. It suddenly begins to turn into a familiar place: Wayne Enterprises, specifically where most of the products are held.

"What are we doing here, Damian?" I ask, looking around at the place. It was so perfect in detail that I almost believe that this is the real deal.

"I'm helping you remember."

"Remember what?"

"My death."

I tense up, still not comfortable with this. Damian is my little brother, and he'll always be my little brother. He grew up being trained as an assassin. He was trained to kill things, just like me. Despite what everyone thought, Damian and I got along quite well. We just enjoyed making the other two brothers pull their hair out in annoyance whenever we would 'argue' with each other when we were just teasing with some violent gestures.

We couldn't help that we worked well with each other, since like I have said, we both had killed people before. Out of all the baby birds, Damian probably knew the most about me. He's the only one that I've shown my weak side to, even if he could kill me in a fraction of a second. But, he's shown his own 'weak' side to me as well, so I guess we both hold it against each other in a good way.

"Dami, are you really dead? This isn't some sick joke of yours?" I ask, and he brings us to an abrupt stop.

"No, it is not. I am sorry. I wasn't able to live against the Heretic. I was defeated in battle, but I was given a hero's death, which I would much rather have than of one of dying of old age."

I snort, and lift him onto my shoulders like I would when we were away from the rest of the Batfamily. "Of course, you would want that. But, Dami, you're only eleven years old. I wasn't even that young when I first died." I take a deep breath, trying to keep myself from breaking down in front of the boy. He was playing with my curly black hair like it was the most fascinating thing in the world as I continue to walk through the huge room.

"I've met some good people up here, Jay. I'm happy. I am kind of surprised that you still do not remember your time up in this place, but that's probably because of the Lazarus pit." He replies, and I sigh in relief. I'm glad that he's not alone. Damian is just a little boy! He needs to be loved, even in death. Oh for crying out loud! A kid assassin is making me a soft teddy bear!

"I'm going to miss you, Dami. But you'd better save me a seat up in heaven, because I'll be clawing my way from hell to see you again like this." We both laugh, but I stop when I see something that I didn't want to see.

Both Damian and I are fighting two people, together. I don't recognize either of our attackers, since they were wearing dark clothing to hide their appearances. I don't remember this ever happening. "Dami, what's going on?"

"The one I am fighting is the Heretic, and the one you are fighting is called Grim. They are both clones of ourselves, except they're much older." He answers, and I see myself pull off the mask on Grim's face to see that it was indeed the same as mine. Yet older.

"I'm a hot old lady." We both chuckle nervously. "So, did Talia do this?" She was the only one that could so something like this, or would even want to. I know that she's got blood samples from the both of us, and the technology to do it.

"Yes, this was the work of my mother." That must have stung, for the both of us. I put my utmost trust in the woman, and she makes a clone of me.

"Why?"

"I believe she said that it was a teaching to the both of us. For us to move forward as more experienced. Or, something like that." Damian pulls a little bit on my hair when the both of our past selves are knocked to the ground together. I move a little bit closer to hear what we're saying. How could I forget something like this?

"Man, I can't believe these guys got us both." Red Hood says, readjusting her helmet on her head. "They're what- twice our age? This is embarrassing, Dami."

"Which is why we will not let them live through this day. Why don't we switch partners?" Robin suggests, and they get up to step on the other side of the other.

But, the two clones were adamant to fight their younger selves, and they ended up back at square one again. Robin is at a sudden disadvantage when Heretic grabs a nearby sword, and the criminal's back up arrives to start shooting at the two heroes. Red Hood and Grim were hashing it out, fist to fist, and it wasn't clear to see who was winning, even with Red's disadvantage of being shot at.

Grim suddenly smacks her helmet off, and her black curls are revealed. Robin looks over at her in shock, and Heretic takes the chance to shove the sword into his heart.

"Tt." Red Hood sees this, and roars when the little boy is dropped to the ground like a piece of trash. She grabs Grim's face, and stomps on her pelvis, immediately cracking it. Her swords from the League of Assassins appear in her hands, and she slices the clone's body to unrecognizability.

"You're going to pay." Red growls when she turns to Heretic, and she leaps to get locked in a heated fight with him.

A couple of batarangs hit the Heretic in the chest, and she jumps back before she can get hit by the bombs as well. Batman and Nightwing both run in, and both simultaneously attack the large assassin. They try to keep their eyes off of the little boy lying on the ground, and Red takes the opportunity to kill the rest of his men who had started charging at them.

In a few minutes, she rushes back to the little boy, who was already gone. He was long gone. "No, no, no. Dami!" Red attempts to stop the blood that was still pouring out, even though she knew that it was pointless. "Come on, demon brat! Don't you dare do this to me! You're a fucking Wayne! You're not supposed to die here today!"

She was crying as she gives up, and clutches him to her chest. "Dami…" She doesn't move from there, not even when the Heretic manages to escape both Nightwing and Batman. Red ignores him, planning to kill the bastard later.

I sat there for so long that Bruce and Dick had time to both wake up. They both see the scene, and they're silent as they stare at the colorful little Robin in the Red Hood's arms. "Jay…?"

Her head spins towards them, and she glares as they walk over to her. Red stands up, still holding him tightly until she gives him to Dick. "Take care of him."

She grabs her helmet when neither of them are able to say anything back, and she disappears out of Wayne Enterprises.

I turn around to face the opposite view of the two mourning men with Damian still on my shoulders. I'm crying again, of course. The little bastard had always been able to get me to do that. Damian puts his hands on my eyes, and opens them to reveal that we're in an empty Batcave.

"Dami, you-you, dammit, Damian!" I sob as I kneel down, letting him get off of my back. "What was the point of this? Why don't I remember this? Hell, I don't even remember your funeral!"

"You were there." He says as he hugs me by my shoulders, now as the one who was comforting me. "You remember, but you're just keeping the memories from yourself. You're making yourself forget. I want you to remember me. Please, as someone who sees that killing a few criminals that had too many second chances isn't always a bad thing, don't forget me." Damian touches his forehead to mine, and the memories come back in an instant. I sob even harder, pulling the little boy into my arms.

I remember hiding behind the tree as Damian's casket was laid down at Wayne Manor, and coming back later to it. I can't believe that he thinks that I would forget him! He's my precious little brother! I realize that I understand the pain that Dick had to go through with me, and I really hated myself for making fun of him being such a sentimental dolt. I'm doing the same thing. I'm being a sentimental dolt.

"Listen, Todd, I need to tell you something." Damian pulls back, and he stands over me, trying to act like an adult like he always does. "One, there's a note that I hid in your special drawer in your safe house in France."

I look at him confused as I quickly rub my eyes. I probably look like a mess, and this is a dream. "When were you in France?" The little devil smirks.

"I can drive the Batwing too, you know." I roll my eyes at him, but I can't help but smile anyways.

I wrap my arm around his neck, and ruffle his hair roughly. "Whatever you say, little brat!" Damian cackles, and easily gets out of my goofy hold. He's smiling, but I can tell that he's still not done.

"Look, I'm dead, so let me get everything out, just like old times?"

I nod my head, and cross my legs together. "Go for it, then."

He takes a deep breath, like he was preparing to speak in front of a whole audience of people. "Todd, I need you to look after Dick, and Tim along with Father and Alfred of course. None of us can deal with death very well, and you can't say that they've gotten over my death already. They haven't, I've been watching all of you. So, try not to isolate yourself from them as much as you do."

"As much." I mutter, noticing that part of his speech especially. I can't believe I'm getting grilled from _him_ about this. I feel like this is ironic.

"Yes, which means going out, and doing things with them as Jane Todd Wayne, not Red Hood." I don't say anything to this, and instead silently pout. "You know, like being a human, especially since your little outlaw group got discarded. You can't be a soldier all the time, you know. Our family taught me that, and after everything that you've been through for the past week, I'd say that you have too. You're just being stubborn with that huge ego of yours."

"Hey!" Damian laughs at me, and I tackle him so I can tickle him. He's a super ticklish little boy thanks to Dick's little 'torture' sessions during the day. "Are you done, Mr. Know it All?"

"Yes!" He giggles, and he sounds just like his age, as he should. "Just promise me that you will do this!" I stop, and pull him into a tight hug again.

"Dami, if that's what you want, I can do that. But, I can't promise that I'll be able to be with them all of the time or to always be on good terms with them." I tell him, and he snorts.

"Yes, I understand." We sit there for a little bit before it suddenly feels like I'm being lifted, like someone was pulling me up.

"Dami!" I gasp as I start losing my grip on him. My little brother smiles up at me.

"I love you, Jane. Always have, always will."

"Damian!" I scream, and then I wake up. "Hello, world."

**AN: Hey guys! Hope you enjoyed my sentimental Jay cuz there's more to come! He-he, you know as a writer how sometimes your emotions show in your writing? Well, that's what happened, and tada! Sentimental Jay! Please review or PM me! It's so awesome to hear from you guys, especially since I'm so new to this. **


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